Question for other first responders/people who have stressful jobs: how do you handle burnout?

"CB" (jrcb)
08/22/2020 at 01:17 • Filed to: None

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I’ve been at my current position for about two years now and I’m just tired all the time. I have no energy to go out and do things anymore. Photography can only do so much for me, all my friends are work related, and it feels like my life is in a holding pattern. Today I saw a pretty grim scene and it didn’t even phase me (which my psychologist is 50/50 on it being a good thing or bad thing). What do other people do to help get their energy back and feel less... isolated and uncaring, I guess?

DISCUSSION (32)

slipperysallylikespenguins > CB
08/22/2020 at 01:31

I’ve worked about 6 years in a high stress/dangerous job doing 60-80 hour weeks . Every three weeks or so I would just get really high(marijuana edibles) on a Saturday night and just completely de-stress. I’ll take a bath, watch flashy movies, or play video games. I’m pretty useless and relaxed the following Sunday but I can go back to work on Monday 100% reset, eager and focused on the tasks at hand. It lasts a few weeks for me before I start getting burnt out and snapping at people. It’s a very common strategy in my industry but most people do it a lot more often.

Nick Has an Exocet > CB
08/22/2020 at 01:36

Not a first responder, but a repeat startup employee. Been doing high stress, high hour, startups for most of the last 15 years.

Find the things in your life that CAN change. The time you wake up, the time you go to sleep, your morning routine, your bedtime routine, your diet, your exercise habits, your screen time, etc. Hell, document your day down to the minute. Then look a this and pick 3 to change for a week. It’s amazing how much bullshit you do day in and day out for no reason other than the fact that you did it the day before and the day before that. Then take the time you get back and shift it to something else. Something beneficial - ideally something you’ve never done before. The key is to start building new pathways in the brain using time and energy that would have been spent on bullshit.

Also, read (or use audiobooks) to get some different perspectives. Great books to try: The Happiness Advantage, Before Happiness, The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck, You Are Not So Smart, The Power of Habit, or anything similar.

I should also mention, while I’m not a therapist, I was trained on career coaching by a Harvard Business School Career Coach and have been doing it for almost 6 years for the people that work for me and a few others that I’ve met along the way.

CB > Nick Has an Exocet
08/22/2020 at 01:42

Unfortunately, there are some things I have no control over, sleep on work days being one of them. For example, am I going home at my shift end, or will I be going home at noon tomorrow? Both are real possibilities. I should try to sort out the bullshit but it’s really hard, especially when I feel like there’s no point.

CB > slipperysallylikespenguins
08/22/2020 at 01:43

Eighty hour workweeks sound like a nightmare.

Weed is not an option as per workplace policy, and my career already has enough problems with substance abuse. Those other destressing options have been tried and don’t really work for me.

wafflesnfalafel > Nick Has an Exocet
08/22/2020 at 01:50

completely agree especially about the finding something new - finding something new to do/think about and finding some even moderate exercise are the two most effective stress mitigators for me... Both of which have been more difficult with the damn pandemic...

SmugAardvark > CB
08/22/2020 at 01:52

This may sound like a joke, but it really isn’t... I took a new job clear across the country.

Okay, to back up a little...I let my EMT license lapse after transitioning to 9-1-1 dispatch. When I got burnt out from that, then I took a new job clear across the country.

I started in Fire/EMS when I was 16, as an ocean lifeguard. Stuck around for awhile in the greater public safety department (since lifeguarding was seasonal work and paid like crap once I was an adult and had a lot more personal responsibilities ), then transitioned to dispatch. I enjoyed it at first. Being able to make a difference without having to actually see all the grisly sights.

But the reality eventually came to me that emergency dispatch can be just as emotionally frustrating/draining. Knowing you’re the last person someone talked to before they took their own life, or hearing a spouse wail into the phone while you’re trying your best to have them follow your CPR instructions all while you already know it’s too late for it to help...stuff like that takes a serious toll over time.

On top of that, our work schedule was hellish. We worked 12 hours shifts, two days on, two days off. That in itself isn’t bad. But we alternated back and forth between day shifts and night shifts every two days. After a couple years, the thoroughly f’d up sleep schedule along with the creeping depression of dealing with near-constant death and misery , I was a shell of my former self. I would drink a bottle of NyQuil every day just to get some sleep, and if I ran out, it became a bottle of vodka. It ruined my relationships, ended an engagement. I alienated myself from my friends and family. Like you, I surrounded myself by being almost exclusively friends with co-workers. If it wasn’t for the car-related stuff I was doing on the side, I honestly don’t think I would be around today.

Eventually, I knew I had to make a change. So I applied for jobs all over the world. Spent about two months burning up all my PTO, travelling for interviews (or doing them via phone or Skype) , and just being away from all the negativity. When I finally got a call back from California, I leapt at the opportunity. I sold my cars and bikes, bought a Nissan Cube, packed only what I absolutely needed in it, then sold or donated everything else I owned. Drove it out west despite having never actually been out to northern California, and I’ve never looked back.

I was immensely fortunate that I was able to pivot 12 years in the Fire/EMS world into a career that quickly became much lower stress, much better pay, and with actual meaningful relationships in my personal life.

So, I do apologize. This has probably seemed a bit rambling and all over the place. And I’m sorry I don’t have any easy answers for you. But please know that there are solutions out there. Sometimes you just need a major shake-up to re-evaluate things. You don’t have to move across the country, but maybe take some time off and go on a wholly unplanned road trip. Just pick a direction and create your own adventure. Bring only what you need, money, some snacks, and your camera gear. Don’t be in a hurry to be anywhere, just be present in wherever you are before heading off the the next unknown locale.

CB > SmugAardvark
08/22/2020 at 01:59

Hah, funny enough, moving across the country got me into this. I do love what I do, but it sometimes sucks. I was supposed to go to England in the spring to help with burnout, but, y’know, pandemic.

I have thought about quitting to get closer to home, which if I can’t get out of this place in the next sixteen months, I absolutely will.

Your comment wasn’t a ramble, it was a sobering reminder that this field isn’t normal (and thank goodness it isn’t). One of my coworkers was a dispatcher, and I have to say, kudos to you guys. I couldn’t do it.

SmugAardvark > CB
08/22/2020 at 02:09

Best of luck to you. There’s no doubt you’ll figure it out for yourself, and come out the other side stronger than ever.

CB > SmugAardvark
08/22/2020 at 02:13

That’s the plan. Nothing’s broken me too much yet!

Rufant > CB
08/22/2020 at 02:15

I have no comparable experience. However a night or two alone, in a wild place, under the stars, is a real good way to put stuff in perspective I find.

ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com > CB
08/22/2020 at 02:31

I’ve been in high stress and first responder positions before. Eventually I left that world and pursued things completely non-stressful, and that was probably a series of the best decisions I’ve ever made. What I did at the time was pursue hobbies that involved some degree of adrenaline . Water sports, became a solidly good skier, became a legitimately good racecar driver , ect. I found that those kinds of activities leveraged skills of focus, determination, discipline and decision making under pressure that you already have and use daily in your line of work, yet the execution of those skills towards a singular, positive (and at the moment to the exclusion of everything else in the world) goal was both deeply rewarding and strangely relaxing.

Part of me wants to say that stick around long enough in your field and you’ll be able to move into positions that are a lot less stressful than being the first guy on the scene. Another part of me says there is a big world of interesting things to do for a living that matter outside of that field. That said, the job needs thoughtful , introspective folks with a good heart doing it, and I hope more people like you stick it out. Part of me knows that I had picked a better agency, I could’ve stuck it out and like to think I could’ve done some good in that role and whatever I could’ve to work against the dynamic that presently exists here in that field. I see that as a worthy effort leading to only good things for the big picture in the end.

But then again, what do I know...

ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com > CB
08/22/2020 at 02:57

The other thing that comes to mind on a second reading to get involved with folks or an organization (few as they may be) outside of work. Echo chambers aren’t good for anyone. especially the folks in them.

CB > ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com
08/22/2020 at 03:16

Thank you. If only we had more tracks out here for racing.

I guess I could see if we could build a snowmobile course at a friend’s...

CB > ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com
08/22/2020 at 03:17

It’s the one problem I have being in a small community with an irregular schedule: I can’t find a single club close by, let alone figure out a schedule to join it.

ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com > CB
08/22/2020 at 03:36

Snowmobiles , motorcycles and mountain biking along with other pursuits offer similar experiences of one flavor or another.

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > CB
08/22/2020 at 07:41

Sorry to hear things are being craptacular friend....I don’t think I have much advice to give. Teaching is high-stress, but it’s definitely not the type you deal with on a given day - kudos to you and thanks for all you do! If you do move back ‘home’, where is ‘home’ if you don’t mind my asking? Ontario way?

cmill189 - sans Volvo > CB
08/22/2020 at 08:43

A hobby that keeps you busy/ful filled outside of work. For me it’s projects ( car and home) , cycling, running, dirt biking, camping...

Keep your work friends at work for the most part.

Find a therapist you like. I don't know how much it helped me with life in general but definitely with my incident earlier this year.

Grindintosecond > CB
08/22/2020 at 08:53

I remember being in shape. I remember that time was a horrible schedule as well for me. But when I started seriously biking the miles and hitting hotel gym time, I was simultaneously the most productive I’ve ever been while in that schedule. I don’t know how, but getting physically fit out there on the mountain bike or...something....helps a lot. Fixes the frame of mind. Helped me resist the grinding crushing fatigue of it all.

Now, one moment had a schedule that split my sleep indefinitely. After 2 years of it I realized I needed out but I was so in it that my mind convinced itself I wouldn’t live another 2 weeks. I kinda quit without a backup job. Don’t do that. Not unless you have 2 years of money stashed. But find us, and talk to us, because you'll convince yourself of wrong things when it gets really bad and that external perspective is clutch.

CB > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars
08/22/2020 at 09:02

Yep, Ontario. Toronto is home, but no way am I moving there.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > CB
08/22/2020 at 09:45

Speaking more from my observations of my wife’s work/life balance, but self care is key. It may sound cliche, but taking time for yourself to just enjoy life with no thought to anything else.

Spend lots of time with the doggie too!

Feel free to reach out anytime

BJ > CB
08/22/2020 at 09:56

I burned out in 2018 (but am not at all in your line of work). Here’s what I needed:

Vacation and p aid sick leave for burnout/depression . Take unpaid leave for a day and just sit couch doing nothing.

Keep seeing the psy and unloading on them, not your family.

Be honest with your family/friends when you don’t feel right.

Exercise.

Sleep.

Drink less (or no) alcohol for a spell .

Keep seeing friends.

Burnouts take time to recover from, it took me a year to back to normal (or normal enough). Be patient and remember that you can't help others if you don't help yourself.

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > CB
08/22/2020 at 11:07

You and Sammerz are always welcome out here in NS, haha! Not sure how easy it would be to find work though...

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > CB
08/22/2020 at 12:09

You get cancer and then get terminated for taking too much time off right as a major pandemic hits, or at least that’s how I handled it. I liked my job despite the stress, but I'm looking for something different this time around, should I be able to find a job...

Nick Has an Exocet > CB
08/22/2020 at 12:37

Okay, so those are things you can't change. Choose again :)

bob and john > CB
08/26/2020 at 17:07

I mean, you know how i handled it...(poorly)

Vacation bud. you and I both need one

CB > bob and john
08/26/2020 at 17:08

Hence my trip in two weeks to Prince Albert Provincial Park!

And yes, you definitely need a vacation. You’ve had a hell of a year.

bob and john > CB
08/26/2020 at 17:19

Oct 3rd. i’m getting laid off. Then all I have to worry about until the end of the year is school. I’m get an ROE, so i can get EI.

Honestly, I’m a bit excited. I’ll be able to gym and actually eat right, and do school and finish off the bikes (small things on the 250, and then finish off the track weapon, and then the VFR)

so close. SO close.

CB > bob and john
08/26/2020 at 17:20

That blows you’re getting laid off, but it sounds like you’re going to make the most of it.

bob and john > CB
08/26/2020 at 17:22

honestly, its better. I’m commission Only here, and we dont have sleds this year, so NOTHING to sell. I would actually make more on EI then i would being at work.

CB > bob and john
08/26/2020 at 17:24

Well shit.

Man, this year.

bob and john > CB
08/26/2020 at 17:27

pretty much. everyone is going to look back on this year with PTSD and hollow eyes.

fuck this year.

bob and john > CB
08/26/2020 at 17:27

pretty much. everyone is going to look back on this year with PTSD and hollow eyes.

fuck this year.